Resolutions… And then what ? 3 tips to avoid bad resolutions
With the new year, we are all thinking about our resolutions, after a strict assessment of the past year!
And why not? “I’ll make a serious start, I’ll do sports, I’ll start a new project, I’ll manage my time…” for the most current resolutions.
Resolutions make us want to act. Each year, the same enthusiasm fills us: take decisions for your life, for changing it.
Resolutions motivate us to think on how to move to feel better, to appreciate life more, to take decisions and change what prevents us from moving forward. Since when, understanding the resolutions’ mechanisms will help us understand how the “after” is always complicated!
When we make a resolution to do something, it’s always due to this same resolution’s failure last year. I can remember my last year resolution: start sports again. I finally quit and I’m frustrated.
Pleasure! But where is pleasure if you do sports without being motivated? And where does motivation come from?
Why isn’t it working ? Because most of the time, resolutions do not match you. If you’ve been living a life that bores you, doesn’t inspire you, made of deceptions, failures and unease for a long time, maybe you should think about what blocks you. Making decisions that only brings you troubles and annoyances takes you away from the pleasure that good resolutions can bring, the ones who matches you.
Here are 3 tips to help you make GOOD resolutions, that you’ll be able to follow.
Don’t make resolutions to become a great handyman if you’ve always been told how bad you are when it comes to do odd jobs! Or if you simply don’t like it but you just want to prove yourself that you can make it.
Start by making resolutions that refers to something positive about you, that motives your inner you. Intuitively, you’ve been thinking for years about something you want to achieve but you don’t dare. It’s the perfect time to think about it and to make it a resolution, because the attractiveness that you feel for this action will transform you and give you the positive impulsion you need to succeed.
Of course, it will demand work, planning, the learning of new resources… But the fact that it attracts you will help you to find pleasure to stay on course.
This first resolution will propel you. You’ll finally get out of your daily routine to realise it.
Don’t take too much resolutions because it’s better to give of yourself on a motivating resolution than to work on dozens of boring ones, that will sink into oblivion anyway. Let’s just think a minute: if your resolution is unique, you necessarily have to go through small resolutions. Imagine if you want to make a resolution about climbing, that you want to make to surpass yourself and because you feel you need it. This project matters to you, but to make it you will have to make others: train a lot, manage your schedule between work, family and training, plan your climbing, manage your lifestyle… Your main resolution necessarily brings others that you can’t escape from. Your motivation will generate enough energy to apply it. Don’t forget to find a great coach that will escort you in this project and will push you. It’s essential to move forward!
Successful resolutions are made to be rewarded. But careful, don’t wait too long for the reward! Rewards have to be made after each successful steps. To go back to the climbing example, you have to reward yourself after each action that comes up with the resolution’s construction.
If you establish a strict and healthy regime, why not allow yourself a cheat food, after losing 1 or 2 kilos for instance? Rewards maintain inner motivation, the one you generate by yourself and you make it last.
To conclude, the fact of limiting your resolutions but working on them deeply and rewarding them will change your mental. With a strengthened, positive and confident mind, you’ll go on the path of success and satisfaction, and the vision you have of yourself and life will radically change.
Dominique Van Acker
Psychologist/coach
